Living in Limbo

Source: hiclipart

Do you ever feel stuck in time? On a routine that goes on in a loop with no change whatsoever? You have these things you want to do but you put them off for later. You don't really do anything to get there at present. Or maybe you do and the routine is a part of it. Either way, you're waiting. Waiting to get there. Somewhere. 

Abstraction

src: dreamstine

It's a brand new day with no agenda. Chores, reading, chores, a movie, and more chores. Not that there are that many of them, but they tend to be the highlight of an otherwise sedentary lifestyle. I browse the internet and find this rotating cube at the bottom of news websites. Flashing numbers. Numbers that represent confirmed cases and deaths. But mere numbers all the same. 10 million. 15 million...a sigh of despair. Almost forced at this point. 

From a Virtual Recluse

src: vecteezy

Dear Social Media,

I got to know about you at a pretty young age. I'd sit next to my sister and read her chats in Yahoo Messenger. It was entertaining even though I didn't always understand her conversations. I was ten when she made an account for me on Orkut. I don't remember if I was particularly excited about it; none of my friends really knew about Orkut then. But I would still log into my account and embellish my profile occasionally. 

The Day of the Lasts

It was the day of many lasts. I wanted it to be special, something for all of us to look back and smile about. I wanted us to give each other the tightest of hugs and take the best of photos. So when I went up to that podium to give my farewell speech, I was all set for the audience to start tearing up. I stood there before my batchmates in that moment, waiting for the commotion to die down. Waiting and waiting some more. Until it was awkward to wait any longer and I started speaking amidst the noise anyway.

The Cheeseburst Arranged Marriage - A Review

Growing up, I always told myself that I wouldn't agree for an arranged marriage. The thought of spending your life with a complete stranger was simply revolting. But times have changed and today's manner of arranged marriage has become more acceptable to me now. Matrimonial sites are nothing but a family-approved-tinder, after all. So when I stumbled upon The Cheeseburst Arranged Marriage in the Blogchatter E-Book library, I was drawn to it. 

This book is the story of 24-year-old Ira falling in love with the man she was arranged to marry. Right from the beginning when she nods her way nonchalantly into this life-long commitment, she doesn't realize what she's signing up for. 

My Favourite Feelings

src: vhvrs

Have you ever wanted to get on a random train and go wherever it takes you? 

Sitting inside the car at the parking lot, I was playing with an idea in my head. Mom was going to take a while, and it wasn't everyday that I got the car for myself back then. Oh what the hell, this may be my only chance. So thinking, I pulled the car out of the parking space and drove away from the building. Out in the road, I took every turning that seemed to have lesser traffic, no destination in mind. With the music in high volume, I was singing with joy, speeding my way ahead. Over a bridge I rode, then another, and yet another one, all along with this new sense of power for being the one in control. This was what freedom felt like. This was pure bliss. Until a khaki-sleeved hand blocked the way a few metres before me...

Heroes of Kindness - A Review

It's been a while since a virus has brought humankind to its knees. Our thoughts have evolved from concern and bewilderment to despair. And yet we've tried to look at the bright side and revel in nature's recovery. As for me, I revelled in finding uplifting news on acts of humanity during these dire times. But the golden time was short-lived. The dark side of humans found its way back to the news pretty soon. And I found myself drowning in despair. 

But here's someone set out to tell anyone who would listen that the world is not a bad place. How could it be, when he holds the proof to the immense kindness we humans are capable of? True, there may be enough of negativity out there to leave us with little hope, but there is also much positivity that goes unnoticed. 

In his very own words, "Why hold onto burning coal when you have diamonds around you?"

Musings from Autumn Shadows

src: flyclipart

"We want every action of ours to have a meaning and purpose. We want the universe to be meaningful to us.  But the unmitigated truth is that there is no such meaning, no purpose in the universe." 

- Tomichan Matheikal, Autumn Shadows: Memoir

Dreaming about what purpose I hold in this universe used to be a favourite pastime for me. I would imagine myself out there in action, doing my bit of duty to this world I was born into. Except that I didn't know what that duty was. I always assumed I'd know it when I grew up. But as years went by and thoughts were recycled, it only seemed clearer that everything around me was unclear. There weren't any 'signs' directing me to my roads of meant-to-be. Because there was no such thing.

Milestones that Matter

src: pinclipart.com

Hands joined and eyes closed, I stood nervously behind the podium. The crowd before me had parted from their seats respectfully. They stood waiting for a holy prayer to commence the auspicious ceremony. Poor them. They definitely weren't ready for the cacophony that was coming. My voice may just have sucked the auspiciousness out of the ceremony.

On Mothers and Chores

src: wikiclipart

It's close to midnight. My mom slumps down on the bed, visibly exhausted. I'm lying down next to her, massaging my eyes after having spent my whole day before the laptop. I'm still wide awake, sleep eluding me yet again. My mom is moments away from a deep slumber, but a few words escape her before she dozes off. Something about the lockdown making little difference to stay-at-home moms.

Corona Chronicles - The Face of Humanity

src: Dreamstime

The colleges are shut down. Families are locked in. Streets are swept free of traffic. Hugs are more threatening than soothing. Social media has more tasks than Bigg Boss. Patience is being tested in households rather than traffic jams. Sanitizers have become more valuable than oil.

Z for Zone #AtoZChallenge

src: clipart.email

You have a name. You have a designation. A resume with bullet points of your accomplishments. You have a visage. A skin of a certain colour. A body that may or may not be flattering. You have a past that people know about. A socio-economic background. A certain religion or caste, irrespective of your beliefs. You have all of these features and more that define you. You are to the world a combination of labels.

Y for YOLO #AtoZChallenge

src: ya-webdesign.com

Today is just another day. 

You may have your daily meals, do your daily chores, and while away the rest of time in store. 

Today in the now, you alone stand for all that has happened to you before. 

You are what became of all your days of the past, all your tears and laughs of what was. 

But you are also what stands for the unknown ahead, the could-be's and maybes' of the morrow. 

You are today the prologue to possibilities, 

The hopes of a happier haven.

Today may be just another day. 

But tomorrow is empty and waiting.
It could be anything in the making.

X for the Unknown #AtoZChallenge

src: clipart.email

Two thousand years before this dawn

The Arabs had the symbols drawn;

Al-jabr, though the name had been,

Algebra is the name we've seen. 

Equations of the mastermind

Lacked a value yet to find.

'Shay-un', though its name had been,

X is all that we have seen. 

W for Writing #AtoZChallenge

src: webstockreview

In the eighth grade classroom of a Central school, all hell had broken loose. It was a commotion so profound that calling it a fish market would be an understatement. In the midst of the futile screams of the class-monitor were flying cloth dusters, pencil pouches, and a black shoe. While some were seen hopping over the desks, others crawled underneath them for reasons unknown. Vigorous pen-fights and matches of odd-or-even were being played over multiple groups. A few were found asking around for completed notebooks, graph papers, rulers, and a missing shoe. You see, it was a free period.

V for Vexation #AtoZChallenge

Source: clipart.email

In the past three years, it has religiously arrived every night. Just around the time the clock turned nine. It didn't matter what I was doing at the time. I could be studying, watching a movie, reading a book, or even rushing back to the hostel from the city or college. But it would come without fail. The vexation.

U for Usefulness #AtoZChallenge

source: VectorStock

Standing before you are two magnificent figures. The abyss of despair and the mountain of hope. We're playing the game of fate. You and your loved one are the players. Your role has the liberty of deciding how involved you can be in the game, for the fate is that of your loved one. Each time fate decides to deal against him, the abyss moves closer to where he stands. All you need to do is to guide him towards the mountain. Simple.

T for True-Self #AtoZChallenge

Source: clipartkey

"He knows our true names, Eragon. We are his slaves forever." - Murtagh

Excerpt from Eldest, the second book of The Inheritance Cycle by Christopher Paolini

My thirteen-year-old self had just finished reading Inheritance*. Eragon had finally discovered his true name. The true name of someone was a bunch of words in the Ancient language that defined the person as a whole. It summarised their existence, perhaps even their purpose, and gave them the complete knowledge of their own self. To have someone know your true name meant to have them see you naked. They would know every inch of your mind and soul, allowing them to have complete control over yourself.

S for Sensitivity #AtoZChallenge

source: VectorStock

In the lone bed of a hostel room two floors above the ground lies a flat pillow. This poor pillow has been victim to much abuse by its owner. It has been squeezed, twisted, soaked with tears, brutally folded multiple times, and occasionally dropped on the dusty floor. On multiple occasions, it has also been surprisingly ignored. That was usually when its owner found insufficient space in the bed to have a breakdown and chose to sit on the floor instead.

R for Remembering #AtoZChallenge

source: clipart.email

"You're all about Harry Potter. Have you even read Dan Brown?"
"Of course! I love the Da Vince Code!"
"Sure. I don't think you've read it."
"I did long ago!"
"Oh yeah? Then tell me the climax of the story."
"Alright. In the end Langdon goes...ehh....Langdon..."

Q for Quitter #AtoZChallenge

source: clipartart

Every inch of my suit dripped with sweat. Strands of wet hair stuck to my flushed face. I could almost hear my racing heartbeat, hot blood pumping through the veins. My heels didn't touch the ground, the feet prepared to pounce at any moment. Be it to attack or to quickly retreat in defence, I had to be ready for anything. My arms were in position before me, fists clenched and eyes fixed on the opponent's. Waiting.

P for Paunch #AtoZChallenge

source: paintingvalley

She hung there in all her glory, putting all the ones around her to shame. The fabric clung well to accentuate the shape, complementing the waistlines to perfection. The shade of royal blue gave her a mesmerizing glow, the bare neck descending sideways to slender sleeves. Her style screamed of confidence. Her looks invited admiration. She was ideal for flaunting the body. She was meant to be. But just not for me.

O for Overthinking #AtoZChallenge

source: Dreamstime

The cursor blinked in the empty spreadsheet before me. I typed down the heading and watched it blink some more. I had a half-mind about writing it down. It seemed like a great idea thirty seconds ago. But now the dubiousness crawled in. My fingers hung on top of the keyboard, waiting for the brain to give the green signal. But the brain was busy processing the gazillion thoughts that'd poured in all of a sudden. 

N for Needful #AtoZChallenge

source: Dreamstime

It is 7 'o clock in the evening. Mom and dad are watching the day's news from the living room. I casually walk across the room to the front door, my mobile phone hidden well in my pyjamas. 

"Where are you going?" Mom starts. I shrug.

"Just for a walk in the terrace." 

Before either of them could get curious, I make for the stairs. From up there in the dark, I fish out my phone and make a call. No, not to my boyfriend. But to my best friend. The information to be conveyed was confidential and couldn't risk being shared from the bedroom. She picks up the call from the other end and I know that she's moved over to her own private location.

M for Mediocrity #AtoZChallenge

source: Dreamstime

There are two kinds of people in this world. The ones who have their lives sorted out, and the ones who have no idea what they're doing. If you're among the latter, welcome to the mediocre club. We have been rowing our way ahead with no sense of direction. We have let ourselves be guided by the flow rather than our choices. We have successfully made that majority which goes unnoticed.

You see, we have been building the podium for that minority who succeed. We're the reason they're on the top. We keep trying to climb ahead only to end up tumbling over ourselves, not realizing that we make the very mountain that the winners climb over. The joke's on us if we continue to try, because either way, we'll remain to be the muddle in the middle.

L for Left-Out #AtoZChallenge

source: Needpix

In the comfort of room number 111, I reclined in my single bed basking in the sweet solitude. What a pity for the ones who couldn't enjoy their own company! Having some me-time was always lovely. Even necessary, I'd say. While the ones from the other rooms gathered around in times of boredom, I found myself hardly ever encountering that term. Smiling to myself, I sat enjoying the private freedom within the room when the phone rang.

K for Knowledge #AtoZChallenge

source: VectorStock

Laughing hysterically at the stories tossed back and forth in the group, we sat in a circle on the master bed. Slumber parties were meant for long stories. The tidbits of gossip at work, little-known histories of our fellow mates, the likes and dislikes of the circle...so on and so forth. But of course, there comes a point where we run out of things to talk about. Here's where the games begin. And pretty often, there is this one game which is always among the first choices.

J for Judgements #AtoZChallenge

source: clipart.email

I don't know if the world has ever been shut down the way it is today. Today, when stepping outdoors is a risk no one is willing to take, when all of social media brims with quarantine tips and pieces of advice, and when the news is entirely about the new number of coronavirus cases or deaths. It feels like a long holiday but it also doesn't. We have time in plenty in our hands and yet can only conform to limited activities. We sheepishly enjoy the much-needed rest, but also feel bored. We feel guilty of our trivial thoughts during quarantine when the world is struggling to survive. For once, the same fate is faced all through the globe, where each of us can relate to the other. This period is going down in history.

I for Individuality #AtoZChallenge

source: vectorstock

"You want some help?"
"NO" I cried, a little harsher than was intended. She nodded and left me alone with my words.

The hardcover of my diary had begun to peel off from overuse. Passages edited and re-edited were strewn across the pages, sometimes with blue ink, sometimes with black. I clicked the pen against the edge of the page, deep in reverie.

H for Hurt #AtoZChallenge

source: pinterest

You know what the scariest thing about love is? The vulnerability of it. How you voluntarily expose yourself to another person, giving them all the strength to empower you, but also destroy you. It is scary to open up and give yourself away. You may choose not to, but there may come a time when opening up becomes a necessity to keep your sanity. Opening up at such a point gives you this blissful relief you didn't know you could be entitled to. Opening up makes you realize how much you needed the support that you're receiving now. Opening up makes you realize that however big a risk it might seem to lay bare before another, the result can turn out to be one of the most precious things you could possibly possess. The thing called love.

G for gymming #AtoZChallenge

source: VectorStock

For the fourth time, my dad called out for breakfast. In my dreams, I had woken up and walked about three times already. But when my eyelids were finally torn open, I felt like my legs were nailed to the bed.

F for Failure #AtoZChallenge

source: dreamstime

Their faces were pleasant and smiling. But somehow, they intimidated me. I sat restlessly rubbing my fingers against each other, waiting for them to finish reading my resume. It was my first placement interview and I was brimming with worry. Waiting patiently for them to begin, I watched as they made notes from that sheet of paper that defined me professionally.

E for Extempore #AtoZChallenge

source: yawd

I turned my back to them and hurriedly packed my bag. If I could escape their notice and just reach till the school bus, then I wouldn't have to do it. They should get someone else to do it anyway. There were so many others after all. Now, if only they weren't gon-

D for Decisions #AtoZChallenge

source: clipartkey.com

We carry it with us from the moment our brains develop to think on their own. The burden of taking decisions. As for me, I've conveniently passed on the burden to another since a little child. Of course, one wouldn't always call it a burden. But a task it was. From the flavour of my ice-cream to the channel to watch on TV, I'd always followed my elder sister's lead. It took quite some time for me to realize that I liked tea over coffee, unlike her. It took even more time for me to choose dresses of my own liking.

C for Connections #AtoZChallenge

source: jing.fm

"And then, as silence swarmed,
I listened to all else.
A whisper, I could hear..
A whisper, soft and dear..."

I was reciting my poem out loud. Their interest in it seemed very convincing, but also very unlikely. I mean, even I wouldn't respond to it that way. Not to demean myself, but I knew my place as a novice and this piece did not deserve the praise it was being given. I was at my first open mic event. A couple of friends had come with me, but we were made to sit apart. Here, we were meant to socialize. Meet new people, make connections. And so we did. I believed that this day was the beginning of something very special. I wanted it to be.

B for Books #AtoZChallenge

source: pinterest

Head of the Literary club in school and a favourite of the English professor. Definitely eligible to be labelled a bookworm. Hell, she'd read all of the Harry Potter books and urged everyone around her to do the same too. She had this circle of reader friends who always had a bunch of books being passed around. This was, of course, before the plus two boards weighed down on the poor souls and killed their leisure time. Good old days.