Choosing your Grey

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In the chilling darkness of the theatre hall, we wait in suspense as the hero floats in the air before an unknown looming figure. We hold our breaths as the camera turns to reveal this figure, this gigantic, holy apparition of Lord Hanuman towering over our tiny hero, exuding a blinding light of brilliance.

I’m cocking my head, assessing the animation skills put into this apparition, when suddenly someone behind me screams out the most terrifying phrase I’ve heard in a while –

“Jai shri ram!”

I freeze. I’m gripped with a sudden fear of being trapped inside this dark room. The chant picks up as others join in the scream, “Jai shri ram!”. It feels wrong to call this a chant. Chants are supposed to be spiritually calming, not terrifying like a threat.

“Jai shri ram!”

I’m suddenly hyper-aware of my partner, who is sitting next to me, belonging to a different faith. I’m getting flashes of newspaper reports in my head, gangs beating up lone men while screaming the same phrase, for merely not having conformed to their ways.

As soon as the ending credits make its way to the screen, we make our way out the exit. I’m relieved the moment we step out of the theatre hall. Ironic how a devoted call to God, which one would hope is to bring peace, has ended up being associated with hate crime. Unfortunate as it is, this is what it has come to. Despite being of a religion of the majority, I find myself afraid for not being devout enough to be spared the wrath of extremists.

Yet I must say that I am privileged. Unlike my colleague and good friend who is planning to leave the country for good, for fear of its growing intolerance. It is not a coincidence that he is a Muslim. In this country, his mere surname is an invitation to be shunned, blacklisted, or attacked out of the blue.

Everything is politics.

There was a time when I comfortably sat on the pedestal of privileged ignorance and declared myself apolitical. At a naive age, it was easier to use that excuse to get away from uncomfortable conversations. But over time I found myself initiating such conversations myself and judging the ones who shied away like my younger self had.

Because everything is politics.

It is the collective thought and action that goes into the running of our daily lives in the smoothest possible way.

It is the streetlights (that ought to be) put up on lonely roads to make you feel safer to walk by.

It is the hospitals that (shouldn’t) charge you exorbitantly for being ill.

It is the textbooks that teach our kids the (apparent) truth of our past.

It is the party workers making provisions for your elderly parents to vote, but conveniently forgetting them otherwise.

It is the traffic block you get stuck in every morning for lack of proper roads.

It is that street dog that almost bit your neighbour’s kid on her way to school.

It is your asthma getting worse with too much pollution in the air.

It is the heap of garbage you scrunch your nose to on the way to the grocery store.

It is the food you choose to eat and not be lynched for your choice.

It is hearing a religious chant causing you to worry for your safety.

And today, it is also your friend wanting to leave the country for what it’s become.

Everything is politics. Believing otherwise is the same as choosing ignorance, a choice limited only to the privileged. It is a choice limited to the fortunate ones with stable and comfortable lives.

My father once told me not to ever follow a particular politician, nor even a political party, but rather to follow an ideology, a practice, or a plan of action. Looking through such a lens, it has been hard to categorise the choices as black and white. All choices are different shades of grey, and one hopes to identify the least of the grey among them.

But at the very least, we are left with the choice of choosing our grey. We are left with the different combinations of rights, wrongs, and don't-care-what-happens-since-it-doesn't-affect-me's. We are left with a scratching head as we try to separate facts from misinformation. We are left with a responsibility to manoeuvre through this mix and make a choice that makes the most sense to our conscience.

So here’s to choosing against ignorance, choosing to take conscious effort to gain awareness, and to choosing our shade of grey.

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This post is a part of 'Everything is Politics' bloghop hosted by Manali Desai and Sukaina Majeed.