Monday, 21 March 2016

A Solitary Euphoria

A Solitary Euphoria ; source:

“Don’t open the door if it’s someone unfamiliar.”
“Okay mom.”
“Keep the balcony closed. And chain the door too, and in case someone does-“
“-I’ll be fine ma! “
“Okay okay, lock the door. Bye. Call if you need something okay?”
“Yeah okay, bye.”

FYI, my mom isn’t going away to England, she’ll be back by evening. And no, this isn’t my first home-alone time. But then, moms will be moms. Shaking my head, I went back to my study. I stood there staring at my textbook and it stared right back at me. My eyes slowly risked a glance to my bed, and then darted back to my book, lest it found out my thought process.

Walking casually back to my table, as if I were only going to sit and spend the rest of the day with it, I halted yet again.

Should I?
I’m with you.

Owkiie-dokie. So I bid temporary goodbye to my books, grabbed my phone and hopped on to my bed.

You do know that you’ll stay glued to your phone for at least half an hour, don’t you?
And you do know that there’s nothing you can do about it don’t you?
You should clean your bed.
In a Half-hour, please?

And so, I went through my routine cycle from FB to Quora to my favourite blogs and back to FB, followed by one or two Ellen DeGeneres interviews, AIB and a couple of music videos.  When I finally wasted away a good deal of my time, I got up, all rejuvenated for the cleaning.

Shall we?
Oh yes we shall.

Music up, blinds down, vibes on….here we go! A large fevicol bottle in one hand (my mike), and the other holding dad’s pants (part of the cleaning process), I danced my way to the living room and back, singing all along. And then reluctantly putting the mike away I resumed dancing with the clothes, making a fold with each beat, and then swinging my way to the closet to keep them in stack.

Naa naa naa naa naa….everybody wanna steal my girl….
Naa naa naa naa naa…..everybody wanna take her heart away….

And before I knew it, the bed bore nothing but my five pillows and a neatly folded blanket. But why should that stop me from the music?

Naa naa naan aa….oh yeah!

I naa-naa’ed my heart out till I ended up flat on the floor. Sigh, so long since I sang out loud…so long since I danced like mad…so long since I got to be with myself! I stay hidden you know, in the inside, and don’t show up unless there’s no one else around.

Then I talk with myself so much, ‘cause not another soul can understand me like I do, I laugh and dream so much, ‘cause not another soul can relate to it all like I do, I smile and do whatever that comes to mind, ‘cause not another soul can know why, like I do.

Presently… my mind turned to its favourite hobby…wandering…

Hey, remember that cute guy from that movie ?
Oh yeah, gawd those eyes…I could just look at them forever!

And there, I rushed over to my laptop to get a glimpse of that heartthrob, and soon found myself playing and replaying his movie.  Uff, that killing look! I reclined on my chair lost in la la land….slowly letting my thoughts to drift over to my crush, and feeling insanely happy to think of him. Then I got up once again slamming the laptop shut, and I ran around the house like a free bird, the way Ranbir Kapoor did in Tamasha. And then I sat down on the floor again, hugging my knees, with a stupid grin on the face.
Aah, such bliss!

I love being with you!
I know right?!
 I wonder if everyone talks to their other side, like I do with you.
 I don’t know, just the mere idea of talking to you seemed absurd to my friends.

Like I said, not another soul can understand this euphoria of mine. They’d call it split personalities. But no one’s going to know about it anyway, about our long conversations, our dreams, and wishes, and secrets together. No one. They say that in the end, you’re alone in this world…but isn’t it enough to just have you? There’s so much more to you than you can even imagine. I know because I discover myself a little more each time I’m on my own. And if I were accompanied by anybody else all the time, that other side would’ve never showed up, and I would’ve never known about that amazing (ahem) side of mine.
And now, I cherish my own company, which somehow forms the elixir of my life.

You know there probably are people who are one and the same inside and out.
Aye, rare. But there must be. Lucky them for having themselves as a whole all along.
But then, there’s no fun in bringing you out all the while!
Uh-huh…The less you reveal…
…the more they wonder!

*DinG DOnG*

Mom’s here? Already? Wow, time flies. I went up to open the door and felt the inner me slowly sink back in.

“Did someone come?”
“No ma, no one.” Except for my other side.
“Oh good, you folded all the clothes!”

I grinned. That’s how you satisfy mom when you’re not studying, no questions raised about that. And now, my mood to study had returned, and I was back at my table to resume where I left off.

 I guess that euphoria with the hidden side surfaces mostly because of being suppressed for long. It’s good though, for I sure wouldn’t want to spend my every day in wonderland.That would be a life with no purpose. No. It is enchanting only when once in a blue moon.
So until the next time we meet, dear me, let’s get busy with life!

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