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| Source : Things I learned from |
"You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one. I hope someday you'll join us. And the world will live as one. " - John Lennon
So I'm watching another Kenny Sebastian's video when the messenger's notification tone rings. "Hey Dashy - it's been a while. What's new?" read the message from Corinne, the one blogger because of whom this blog is what it is today. It dawns on me then that I'd been neglecting Wandering Wows for almost four months now.
Of course there were the pangs of guilt that sprang up every now and then, for calling myself a writer but not writing much. But then the mind gets so creative when it comes to finding excuses. A short writing break? Call it writer's block. The break getting longer? Busy schedule! Getting longer still? Let's look for other places where I've written something and say...see? I've been working elsewhere.
Even longer break? Uhmm...it's not that I don't want to write, but you see...blogging is a two way street. I could write and publish but then I wouldn't have the time to read other blogs, and that'd only make me guiltier- which I do not want. Sigh, this busy life I tell you! Never mind the hours I spend daydreaming over chemistry notes or surfing the internet for leisure. Excuses a plenty my mind could conjure, but never once will it adhere to the word laziness.
Legs propped up on the table, and laying back on a cushioned chair, I stared up at the ceiling fan for inspiration. And before I knew it, three months had passed already. An hour ago, I was having one of those productive internet surfing times when I stumbled upon an answer on Quora, which just happened to slap me on the face.
For the curious ones- here's the link. And for the lazy ones like me, here's the synopsis. It told a story of two wannabe writers who took different paths. The first being the constant visualiser of his dream, who told people about it and wrote a little bit now and then just for the sake of it. His social circle called him a writer and approached him for writing help, and it boosted his confidence. But what it also did was satiate him. He was content to be recognized as a writer in his group, and so he did nothing more. He was the extrinsic dreamer.
And then there was this other guy who had the same dream, but told no one about it. He'd spend days scribbling his tales, never once showing it to the world for want of improving it further. And then one fine day, he came out with his first published book, surprising everyone around him. He was the intrinsic dreamer.
Sadly enough, I didn't have to think twice before realizing I was the former; the extrinsic dreamer. Not that one must keep mum about his dream, but if being open about it only keeps your progress stagnant it surely doesn't help. And so, drowned in the praises and the many pats on the back, I'd settled down smugly. I told myself that I still have a dream, that I'm on my way to the summit, that I'll start working when the time's right. Only, I failed to realize that the time's never right.
Time is relative, for it depends on our priorities. The wait for free time would last forever, for life is jam packed with activities and it always will be. As for me, running around in the name of club events, fests, college drama, and everything else for a year is not something to regret. Yes I've learnt things a plenty, but have let my favourite hobby take a backseat; writing. The disappointment lingers for having halted in the same level for far too long, for not having moved ahead, for perhaps being the overconfident rabbit in the race.
The new year went by with no resolutions, followed by three months of pomp and fun after which were the two weeks of stressful examinations. Finally broken free from obligations, it was time to reflect on the past year. Setting aside the metamorphosis in lifestyle and little self-realisations, the growth as a person was far from what I wished it could have been. The myriad of plans before joining college- all vanished into thin air. And so, pondering over all the things left undone, here I am making a new year resolution although four months late -
To find time for what I love, and keep going.
A promise. Did you keep yours?
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