Just Another Speck in the Cosmos

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Hey you,

This may have been the quickest year we’ve had yet. It feels like only yesterday when I packed a year’s worth of life into five cartons and moved to a new city. It’s hard to believe that was twelve months ago. Moving places is always a romantic affair, don’t you think? The idea of leaving something behind and exploring something anew.

I’m not so sure what I’ve left behind. Maybe the crowd and the frenzy that came with it. Maybe even a bit of loneliness and hurt from my circle back there. But I do know what I’ve gained. A sense of calm. It’s only when the water is still that you get to see clearly.

Fainting into a Consciousness

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Everything is blurry. There's a bright point of light in front of me. I stare at it blankly for a while, unable to form a coherent thought. There are drops of water sprinkled on my face, but I don't question it. It doesn't seem odd. Nothing seems odd, not even the dark blobs popping into my view, blocking the harsh rays of light. Blobs that look like heads. Like faces.

On a Curtained Balcony

 

Hey you,

It’s been almost a year since we moved away from home. Almost a year since I put up those red curtains for my balcony doors. That was all the decoration I could manage for my room, except for the aloe vera sulking at me from my table. I know I forget about its existence most of the time, but it pretty much takes care of itself. That was why I agreed to bring it over in the first place, mom was adamant.

Cherished and Forgotten

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Vemödalen. 

The fear that everything has already been done. 

When I first came across this word I nodded it off, not giving it a second thought. Today it tails every thought in my mind, pulling back each one that wishes to break through and live a life of its own. It crushes them half-baked before I can put a sense to them, before I can give them space to grow into themselves. It mocks every feeble effort of theirs to be unique, to simply be their own self. It sniggers enough to deafen the little voice in them, wishing meekly to be heard.

A Mountain's Call

 

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On a freezing night, 6000 ft above the sea, our flashlights moved haphazardly from the tent. My numb fingers fumbled for the sleeping bag, craving its promised warmth. My tent-mate’s uneven breathing alternated with my own. For a moment her headlamp flashed on my face. I winced.

“Why are we doing this again?” she asks.

To Love

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"So?" 

I ask him, feigning impatience. Inside me is a racing heart ready to burst at any moment. I wonder if it's my excitement or just the fear of getting caught by the PT teacher.

"You know what I'm going to say." he says. I almost roll my eyes. 

"Are you going to say something or not?" 

He shuffles his feet awkwardly, unsure what to do in this situation. We're at the corner of the playground, trying to be discreet in the middle of noise and hustle. 

"Okay." he says, breaking into a grin. "I love you."

The Time of Confrontation

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It had been too long since the indoors took over. There was no point in waiting anymore, it being well established that the normal we had known wouldn't be restored for quite some time. And so, coupled with the inefficient handling of semester finals and hurried online evaluations came the inadequate goodbyes of my final year.