U for Usefulness #AtoZChallenge

source: VectorStock

Standing before you are two magnificent figures. The abyss of despair and the mountain of hope. We're playing the game of fate. You and your loved one are the players. Your role has the liberty of deciding how involved you can be in the game, for the fate is that of your loved one. Each time fate decides to deal against him, the abyss moves closer to where he stands. All you need to do is to guide him towards the mountain. Simple.

T for True-Self #AtoZChallenge

Source: clipartkey

"He knows our true names, Eragon. We are his slaves forever." - Murtagh

Excerpt from Eldest, the second book of The Inheritance Cycle by Christopher Paolini

My thirteen-year-old self had just finished reading Inheritance*. Eragon had finally discovered his true name. The true name of someone was a bunch of words in the Ancient language that defined the person as a whole. It summarised their existence, perhaps even their purpose, and gave them the complete knowledge of their own self. To have someone know your true name meant to have them see you naked. They would know every inch of your mind and soul, allowing them to have complete control over yourself.

S for Sensitivity #AtoZChallenge

source: VectorStock

In the lone bed of a hostel room two floors above the ground lies a flat pillow. This poor pillow has been victim to much abuse by its owner. It has been squeezed, twisted, soaked with tears, brutally folded multiple times, and occasionally dropped on the dusty floor. On multiple occasions, it has also been surprisingly ignored. That was usually when its owner found insufficient space in the bed to have a breakdown and chose to sit on the floor instead.

R for Remembering #AtoZChallenge

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"You're all about Harry Potter. Have you even read Dan Brown?"
"Of course! I love the Da Vince Code!"
"Sure. I don't think you've read it."
"I did long ago!"
"Oh yeah? Then tell me the climax of the story."
"Alright. In the end Langdon goes...ehh....Langdon..."

Q for Quitter #AtoZChallenge

source: clipartart

Every inch of my suit dripped with sweat. Strands of wet hair stuck to my flushed face. I could almost hear my racing heartbeat, hot blood pumping through the veins. My heels didn't touch the ground, the feet prepared to pounce at any moment. Be it to attack or to quickly retreat in defence, I had to be ready for anything. My arms were in position before me, fists clenched and eyes fixed on the opponent's. Waiting.

P for Paunch #AtoZChallenge

source: paintingvalley

She hung there in all her glory, putting all the ones around her to shame. The fabric clung well to accentuate the shape, complementing the waistlines to perfection. The shade of royal blue gave her a mesmerizing glow, the bare neck descending sideways to slender sleeves. Her style screamed of confidence. Her looks invited admiration. She was ideal for flaunting the body. She was meant to be. But just not for me.

O for Overthinking #AtoZChallenge

source: Dreamstime

The cursor blinked in the empty spreadsheet before me. I typed down the heading and watched it blink some more. I had a half-mind about writing it down. It seemed like a great idea thirty seconds ago. But now the dubiousness crawled in. My fingers hung on top of the keyboard, waiting for the brain to give the green signal. But the brain was busy processing the gazillion thoughts that'd poured in all of a sudden. 

N for Needful #AtoZChallenge

source: Dreamstime

It is 7 'o clock in the evening. Mom and dad are watching the day's news from the living room. I casually walk across the room to the front door, my mobile phone hidden well in my pyjamas. 

"Where are you going?" Mom starts. I shrug.

"Just for a walk in the terrace." 

Before either of them could get curious, I make for the stairs. From up there in the dark, I fish out my phone and make a call. No, not to my boyfriend. But to my best friend. The information to be conveyed was confidential and couldn't risk being shared from the bedroom. She picks up the call from the other end and I know that she's moved over to her own private location.

M for Mediocrity #AtoZChallenge

source: Dreamstime

There are two kinds of people in this world. The ones who have their lives sorted out, and the ones who have no idea what they're doing. If you're among the latter, welcome to the mediocre club. We have been rowing our way ahead with no sense of direction. We have let ourselves be guided by the flow rather than our choices. We have successfully made that majority which goes unnoticed.

You see, we have been building the podium for that minority who succeed. We're the reason they're on the top. We keep trying to climb ahead only to end up tumbling over ourselves, not realizing that we make the very mountain that the winners climb over. The joke's on us if we continue to try, because either way, we'll remain to be the muddle in the middle.

L for Left-Out #AtoZChallenge

source: Needpix

In the comfort of room number 111, I reclined in my single bed basking in the sweet solitude. What a pity for the ones who couldn't enjoy their own company! Having some me-time was always lovely. Even necessary, I'd say. While the ones from the other rooms gathered around in times of boredom, I found myself hardly ever encountering that term. Smiling to myself, I sat enjoying the private freedom within the room when the phone rang.

K for Knowledge #AtoZChallenge

source: VectorStock

Laughing hysterically at the stories tossed back and forth in the group, we sat in a circle on the master bed. Slumber parties were meant for long stories. The tidbits of gossip at work, little-known histories of our fellow mates, the likes and dislikes of the circle...so on and so forth. But of course, there comes a point where we run out of things to talk about. Here's where the games begin. And pretty often, there is this one game which is always among the first choices.

J for Judgements #AtoZChallenge

source: clipart.email

I don't know if the world has ever been shut down the way it is today. Today, when stepping outdoors is a risk no one is willing to take, when all of social media brims with quarantine tips and pieces of advice, and when the news is entirely about the new number of coronavirus cases or deaths. It feels like a long holiday but it also doesn't. We have time in plenty in our hands and yet can only conform to limited activities. We sheepishly enjoy the much-needed rest, but also feel bored. We feel guilty of our trivial thoughts during quarantine when the world is struggling to survive. For once, the same fate is faced all through the globe, where each of us can relate to the other. This period is going down in history.

I for Individuality #AtoZChallenge

source: vectorstock

"You want some help?"
"NO" I cried, a little harsher than was intended. She nodded and left me alone with my words.

The hardcover of my diary had begun to peel off from overuse. Passages edited and re-edited were strewn across the pages, sometimes with blue ink, sometimes with black. I clicked the pen against the edge of the page, deep in reverie.

H for Hurt #AtoZChallenge

source: pinterest

You know what the scariest thing about love is? The vulnerability of it. How you voluntarily expose yourself to another person, giving them all the strength to empower you, but also destroy you. It is scary to open up and give yourself away. You may choose not to, but there may come a time when opening up becomes a necessity to keep your sanity. Opening up at such a point gives you this blissful relief you didn't know you could be entitled to. Opening up makes you realize how much you needed the support that you're receiving now. Opening up makes you realize that however big a risk it might seem to lay bare before another, the result can turn out to be one of the most precious things you could possibly possess. The thing called love.

G for gymming #AtoZChallenge

source: VectorStock

For the fourth time, my dad called out for breakfast. In my dreams, I had woken up and walked about three times already. But when my eyelids were finally torn open, I felt like my legs were nailed to the bed.

F for Failure #AtoZChallenge

source: dreamstime

Their faces were pleasant and smiling. But somehow, they intimidated me. I sat restlessly rubbing my fingers against each other, waiting for them to finish reading my resume. It was my first placement interview and I was brimming with worry. Waiting patiently for them to begin, I watched as they made notes from that sheet of paper that defined me professionally.

E for Extempore #AtoZChallenge

source: yawd

I turned my back to them and hurriedly packed my bag. If I could escape their notice and just reach till the school bus, then I wouldn't have to do it. They should get someone else to do it anyway. There were so many others after all. Now, if only they weren't gon-

D for Decisions #AtoZChallenge

source: clipartkey.com

We carry it with us from the moment our brains develop to think on their own. The burden of taking decisions. As for me, I've conveniently passed on the burden to another since a little child. Of course, one wouldn't always call it a burden. But a task it was. From the flavour of my ice-cream to the channel to watch on TV, I'd always followed my elder sister's lead. It took quite some time for me to realize that I liked tea over coffee, unlike her. It took even more time for me to choose dresses of my own liking.

C for Connections #AtoZChallenge

source: jing.fm

"And then, as silence swarmed,
I listened to all else.
A whisper, I could hear..
A whisper, soft and dear..."

I was reciting my poem out loud. Their interest in it seemed very convincing, but also very unlikely. I mean, even I wouldn't respond to it that way. Not to demean myself, but I knew my place as a novice and this piece did not deserve the praise it was being given. I was at my first open mic event. A couple of friends had come with me, but we were made to sit apart. Here, we were meant to socialize. Meet new people, make connections. And so we did. I believed that this day was the beginning of something very special. I wanted it to be.

B for Books #AtoZChallenge

source: pinterest

Head of the Literary club in school and a favourite of the English professor. Definitely eligible to be labelled a bookworm. Hell, she'd read all of the Harry Potter books and urged everyone around her to do the same too. She had this circle of reader friends who always had a bunch of books being passed around. This was, of course, before the plus two boards weighed down on the poor souls and killed their leisure time. Good old days.

A for Awkwardness #AtoZChallenge

source: pngitem

It was a normal and pleasant Thursday evening. The three of us were happily munching over a plate of french fries powdered with chaat masala. A casual conversation floated in this comfortable small circle. It was all good until one of their phones rang. The comfort level in me felt a slight dip. My fears rang true when he got up and said the dreaded words -

"I'll be right back."

An Ode to Myself #AtoZChallenge

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We sat in two long rows, getting drenched in the humid auditorium decorated with pointless air-conditioners. Each of us was given a blank sheet of paper. You see, our professor liked to do something new every meeting. This time, the mission was to 'find ourselves'. Like always, we spent the first couple of minutes exchanging clueless glances and wishing we had skipped the meeting and attended the morning assembly instead.

"This is something each one of us needs to reflect on." he began, slowly pacing what little space was left before our seats. "Now, you may not complete this assignment in these twenty minutes of time. But I insist that you do complete it when you can." We listened keenly, although internally relieved for already having an extended deadline. It was so much easier to just listen to him speak.

"To know your own strengths and weaknesses is important. Not merely for the interview questions, but for yourselves." His eyes then scanned the front row and I sensed an impending question. They conveniently rested on me before he asked it. "Why don't you tell us one of your strengths, Dashy?" And to my surprise, I responded almost immediately.

The Last Pluviophiles

Source: Pinterest

She hated it. She hated how capricious it was, how it came all too sudden without even a hint of how long it was planning to stay. She hated how it ruined her plans every time. She hated how it made her clothes take longer to dry up, or how it forced her to carry a bag around just for an umbrella.
She hated the rains.

In the name of happiness

Dear happiness,

Back when we were kids, we didn't think much about you. You were around most of the time, so we took you for granted. It was during teenage that you started playing peekaboo. We were only beginning to meet your counterparts. The blood-boiling rage, the envy, the clouds of frustration, the yearning, and the blend of it all that we couldn't put a name to. We did manage to hunt you down in the midst of the mess. It was still possible. But now I'm twenty-one, and you've conveniently settled in a land I am unable to step on.

More than just a Mom

Source: yadi.sk

The five textbooks stacked up on my desk sat waiting. Waiting for me to find the motivation to open at least one. I would've done it after all, if mom hadn't called for lunch that very moment. And I knew better than to ignore mom's call.

Seated at the dining table, the guilt wouldn't leave me. So with each handful of rice and fish curry, I built on the study schedule to be followed in my mind. The silence over lunch went unnoticed until my mom broke it.

Our Bundle of Joy

Source: Pinterest

An hour past midnight.
The corridor silent yet lit up
With the rush of late night assignments.

She slept while I worked,
Eyes half-open, drinking in the light
In spite of the slumber.
Or so I believed.

What it Means to be Free

Source: bigstockphoto

"But we don't need to listen to others. Only you girls need to."

He joked when I asked him to get up. Except that it wasn't really a joke.

.

.

Dear old patriarchy,

You've probably existed since the beginning of time.

You've helped countless men to reach great heights.

You've tricked the world into keeping you close

Rather than keeping up with these 'equal rights'.

That Time of the Year

Half past eleven on the 31st of December.

Raving crowds and coloured lights are all that they'd remember. 

I stopped making new year resolutions two years ago. Not because I stopped believing in them. But because I was still working on my older ones. The ultimate 'life- plan' was still underway, time management for me was still a bummer, and I hadn't yet sorted out my priorities quite well.

It'd been a while since I'd spoken to the diary. Every year the first pages spoke highly of my resolve. The two years saw no new diary and with it no new resolutions. In the last half hour of the year, I still found no reason to make one.

There in the midnight chill and the lights flashing in rhythm, I sat apart from the crowd. But not alone.